Top 10 Things I'm Thankful For This Year (updated throughout the day)

1. friends: they're really, honestly, truly like my family and despite the fact that we're all pretty scattered around the country (New Jersey, New York, Connecticut, San Francisco, Florida and Maryland) it's love that makes the distance seem less significant. we may not talk or e-mail or see each other every day, but when we do, it's like we just spoke yesterday. i hope they know that i'd take a bullet for any of them.

2. CawfeeMate: there's nobody, in all the world, who understands me like he does and suffers through my anxieties, tantrums, doldrums and idiocy; i'm so incredibly lucky to have him in my life. there's also nobody, in the world, that i love more than i love him.

3. Rufus: if there's anything better than puppy kisses and the unconditional love that come with them, i don't know what it is...

4. my parents: i know i bitch about them...alot...they're crazy and strange and they make no sense sometimes; they're also incredibly loyal and supportive and loving.

5. Mallomars: what? don't hate.

6. this blog (and its readers): i know i write sporadically (blame the recession), but on the rare occasions i get to post something actually worthwhile (not a quiz or a link to fabulously quirky t-shirts), it feels good. it feels good to have voice "out there" and a soapbox to rant from; it's even nicer knowing that some people are actually listening...

7. blogger friends: just when i think my life is a sit-com, you guys (and girls...and girls who used to be guys...) make me feel totally mainstream and ordinary! seriously though, the blogs i read from all over the world, remind me that we're such a diverse and unique community. you're all brilliant and incredibly sensitive writers.

8. my job: i know i often say i hate it, but in this day and age, any job you can get up in the morning and go to is a good one; especially if you're in the finance industry. besides, i like most of the people i work with; they're good blog fodder.

9. my health: during a recent talk with the huz, it occurred to me that with the exception of that brain tumor a couple of years ago, i'm pretty healthy; i rarely get sick (**knock on wood**) and since i've been exercising and eating better, i feel pretty damn good, much more often than not.

10. i'm queer: shocking, i know, but i really am thankful that i was born this way. aside from these reasons, i'm really so very thankful to be part of the gay community. we're so different, but united by similar experiences and lifestyles. i truly believe that we (ok, most of us) are the last guardians of wit, irony and gothic humor. i also believe that i'm lucky not to have to be saddled with kids (and relieved that they're truly an optional accessory that i am utterly repelled by). being gay in the US, means that we've got so many more options than at any other point in history; we're constantly re-defining our roles in our communities, cities and states. we can get married if we want to...in some parts of the country/world and we can define what those marriages mean. or we can choose not to get hitched. we have the option to be conventional or non-conventional; i think that's pretty damn wonderful and i'm incredibly thankful to be part of this community at this time in history.

happy thanksgiving, all. enjoy your friends and/or families.

If I'm Your Zaan, Would You Be My Jayna?

seriously though, it almost makes me wish i had a twin sister...or any sister, for that matter...

Card Attack

last week I bought the annual CawfeeFamily Christmas cards. got 'em at Papyrus*; $45 for two boxes of christmas cards...crazy, i know...but i love 'em to bits. Sunday, while watching Angie Jolie in Changeling (4 star performance BTW), I sat down with my Superman address book and various random return labels from last year, and wrote out all 30. I was about 15 short. no biggie. tomorrow is another day, and i can still get them out by December 1st. So, last night, I go back to the card store** on the way home, drop another $40 on two different box o' cards*** (plus the little envelope seals, because I'm so over licking envelopes that aren't mint flavored) and hop the bus home. through shear providence, I wind up with a double seat all to myself, and after the last stop, the seat next to me was still empty (nobody likes to disturb the guy who reads while listening to an iPod), so I drop the shopping bag on the seat and settle into my book (Lamb, by Christopher Moore, my favorite writer...this week...get it today on Kindle). an hour later, I get off the bus, where CawfeeMate is waiting to drive me home, and head to La Casa Del Cawfee to puppy kisses and din-din.

it's not 'til I'm in the bathroom, taking my "welcome home whiz" that it occurs to me that I've left the shopping bag on the fucking bus.

30 minutes later I've called 311 who's transferred me to the MTA who's hung up on me; called back 311 who transferred me back to the MTA who told me that the dispatcher of the SI depot wasn't answering the phone and that I should call back in an hour. one hour (a bowl of macaroni with peas, and one episode of Grey's Anatomy) later, I'm back on the phone with the MTA trying to track down the number for the SI depot. finally I get someone who has my cards, but absolutely no predisposition for conversation. the guy tells me that I better come in tonight, because if I don't the bag will be sent to the 34th street depot to the Main Lost and Found, in the morning. in true "CawfeeGuy" fashion, I rush off the phone (totally preempting Heroes) without finding out how late the SI lost and found is open. we call on the way and the guy is like "dude we're here all night", all sarcastic and placating-like, so I tell him "oh ok! I'm on my way" and he's all "great" in the most deadpan straight guy voice I've ever heard. I was instantly embarrassed for being that gay guy all upset over his christmas cards.

we**** get to the depot, which is naturally in one of the worst neighborhoods on SI, and work our way around the garage area. the mechanics direct us upstairs to the lost and found which is just a little window in this big huge room with dozens of portable bulletin boards COVERED in papers. it totally brought me back to the days when I visited my dad at the police station house. maybe it was the "municipal building smell", maybe it was the puke green walls, but it was total déjà vu. anyway, after the guy teased me for a few minutes about keeping the cards and sending them out himself, he handed my bag over and wished us a happy holiday.

I could not believe that the cards made it back to me. I'm pleasantly shocked and surprised! the MTA is totally getting a christmas card, this year.

*the bus stop is directly outside of the Papyrus on 42nd and 9th. in fact, I seem to miss at least one bus, whenever I stop to get cards.
** of course I missed a bus while in the store
*** annoying fact: they're having a sale buy 3 get 1 free and without a receipt from last week's purchase I was SOL. the new cards were just as cute as the 1st batch, though, so i almost don't mind.
**** stephen came with me and I was really glad because, well, i was going to Scaryville, Staten Island and i don't own a bulletproof vest. also, he's much better at talking to straight men-city employees. I come off shrieky and shrill (if you can believe it). if you want to get something done over the phone or in a restaurant, preferably with an angry black or caribbean lady, I'm your girl. if it involves Joey Bag of Metrocards or NYP Dino, call CawfeeMate.

Test Day: My Personal DNA

this is an oldie but a goodie; thanks to Kevin's Rants for posting his (and thereby giving me something to pilfer).

Advocating Curator

Taking a Stand While Sitting

thanks to Mark at My Journal of Random Things for posting this. it's good to see a kid with principles; his parents must be proud.

Thanks Dr Brian (You're Better, On a Monday Morning, Than My Caramel Latte`)

Buffy: Season 8 Motion Comic

Test Day: Book 'Em

You Are Fantasy / Sci Fi

You have an amazing imagination, and in your mind, all things are possible. You are open minded, and you find the future exciting. You crave novelty and progress. Compared to most people, you are quirky and even a bit eccentric. You have some wacky ideas. And while you may be a bit off the wall, there's no denying how insightful and creative you are.

What Kind of Book Are You?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

Friday is For Forgiveness, People

i'm sorry about all the quizzes, but i'm too overworked right now for anything more than this. also, my muse seems to be on some sort of sabbatical, lately, and i find i have terribly little to say (outside of a Facebook status update). maybe she's here, or here or here (they seem to have no problem writing new and interesting things, almost daily).
so, yeah...if you guys happen to see my muse, please tell her i miss her.

Test Day: Fear of Phobias

You Are 16% Phobic

Wow, you're scared of very little. And you're always conquering new fears that come up. Have you considered a career as a stunt double? You should at least go on one of those crazy reality shows where you eat bugs!

How Phobic Are You?

the thing is, they just didn't list all my phobias...where are bridges? where are clowns? where are revolving doors?

Test Day: I Must Say, I'm Curious What Dr. K's Result Will Be

You Are Beef and Broccoli

You are a smart, no nonsense type of person. You are very low maintenance compared to most people. You are often thinking of everyone else but yourself. You feel the most comfortable when you are putting yourself last. You tend to order quickly yet carefully from the menu of life. You don't have a lot of time to agonize over decisions. By doing the best you can in each moment, you've done pretty well in life. People truly respect and admire you.

What Kind of Chinese Food Are You?

Blogthings: A Fine Line Between Insight and Stupidity

Test Day:Your Favorite Fruit

You Are Pears

You have sophisticated tasted in food, and more than anything, you really like to go for high quality ingredients. You understand that a perfectly grown and ripened pear is a beautiful thing... and really quite underrated. You prefer to eat minimally prepared food. You think complexity often just hides poor quality ingredients. In your mind, there's little better than an expertly poached pear, or pear served with a fine cheese.

What Fall Fruit or Vegetable Are You Most Like?

ironically, i thoroughly dislike pears.

Test Day: Halloweenie

You Are Spooky

You put the trick in "trick or treat," and you won't stop scaring people until you scare yourself. You love horror movies, dark spooky nights, and the darker side of Halloween. You save the kids' stuff for the kids. Speaking of kids, you avoid the little candy grubbing monsters at all costs. Well, unless you are looking to give them a little scare. You think Halloween has gotten a bit to sugary these days, and you don't mind injecting a little fright into things.

Are You Spooky or Kooky?

Thursday Morning Cop Out Post II

ach. i'm totally swamped after an almost* depressingly unremarkable four day weekend. i've got 3 or 4 posts in my head but not nearly enough time to get them on paper. sorry kids, maybe tomorrow...
*the highlight was monday's all-too-brief lunch with Mrs Bri-the-Pie-Guy and their bouncing baby boy, which really just served to make me miss her even more than i already do.

Artsy Friday

So, this is the art that's been gracing my desktop, lately. i totally sweat Alex Ross.

Test Day: Oh Look, Something Shiny!

Your Attention Span is Medium

Your attention span is just about average. You may think that you have a short attention span... But being distracted is something most people struggle with. The most important thing is that you're aware that your mind wanders. If you find yourself daydreaming, you can usually snap out of it. It may be tough to concentrate at times, but you can do it... if you want to!

How's Your Attention Span?

Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

Test Day: That's SUPER Genius

You Are 68% Tortured Genius

You are smart. Brilliant in fact. And while it's a blessing, it's also a curse. Your head is filled with everything - grand ideas, insufferable worries, and a good deal of angst.

Are You a Tortured Genius?

Random Life Lesson #56

yesterday, while on the way home from work, i heard (between songs on my iPod) an announcement in the subway station telling people not to stick hands or bags between the doors in an attempt to stop them. the announcer was very irate about this and stressed that there was no need to hold the train; there's always another one behind it. this reminded me of my own train door story...

a few years ago, while on the way home from AIDS Walk NY, CawfeeMate and i had planned to take the subway from Central Park, down to the Village (or possibly Chelsea) for dinner and some window shopping. Thankfully, he is one of those New Yorkers that knows where all the trains stop, start and wind up; which are locals, which run express, which have good air conditioning and the best overhead lighting. he guided us to the nearest subway entrance as a train was pulling in. being the complete opposite in every way, i have no idea which trains go where, but my golden retriever-esque brain flashed the urgent message "there's a train" and i bolted to catch it, regardless of whether or not it was "our" train.

as it turns out it wasn't and with one foot in and one foot out, CawfeeMate grabbed me by my backpack before we were separated. in an instant, the doors closed aroudn the ankle of the one foot which was in, which happened to be wearing a leather flip-flop. after several seconds, the doors opened and i was able to extricate myself from the door. sadly, now the flip flop was stuck in the door. this time, though the doors didn't open and i chased after the train and eventually retrieve it.

the entire affair couldn't have taken more than 30 seconds, but provided a lifetime of lessons, not the least important of which is that i never attempt to hold the doors on a departing train and will never wear flip-flops to the AIDS Walk ever again.

Test Day: Flame ON!

You Are Jean Grey

Although your fate is often unknown, you always seem to survive (even after death). Your mind is your greatest weapon, literally! Powers: telepathy and telekinesis, the ability to project thoughts into the mind of others, communication with animals

Which of the X-Men Are You?

But Is It Available In Leopard Print, For MS?

get it here (or just watch the video)

Top 10 Reasons Why I Don't Like Vacation

10. my job always seems infinitely more pointless and unfulfilling when i get back

9. people are exponentially less hot the further you get from New York (or any other major city, ie. San Francisco or Chicago)

8. hotels always feel like such a mammoth waste of money. I don't need turndown service or spa tub, but a clean room with a comfortable bed, thick comforter and thirsty towels should be the standard, not luxury.

7. 217 unanswered e-mails and faxes waiting for me when i get back.

6. no matter where we go, it seems like we have to go through New Jersey to get there

5. road signs outside New York look like this:

4. i'm a horrible over-packer and bring at least 3 outfits, 2 pairs of shoes and a jacket i don't need; whatever i forget to pack always winds up being really important (ie. cell phone or iPod charger)

3. chain restaurants and the tourists who love them.

2. i don't get to work out like i should because i feel like it's a waste of valuable time which should be spent maximizing the fun.

1. five days is not nearly enough time to relax. in fact: i usually need another five to recover from attempting to squeeze as much fun as possible (read: clubbing, late nights, etc) into the five days i have off and wind up exhausted.

Phoning It In

So, yeah, the vacation's almost over and the huz and i are about to leave Mary-land, where we spent three really great days with her and her man, at her wedding. everyone looked fabulous, the day was gorgeous and we had a wonderful time. mozol tov, to you two crazy kids!

for no reason, in particular, i thought i'd post this, which a friend of mine sent me on Facebook. i'm not gonna lie, i laughed so hard i cried the 1st time i saw it. Enjoy!